The Artist and the Model: Script

	The Artist and the Model: Script
	Act One

Artist	Whenever I hear Janacek's quartet I remember the day she first arrived.
	Music becomes suddenly audible: the closing movement from a Janácek string quartet. (This must be timed to end at a key moment, as we shall discover.) While we listen to the music, the Artist is fussing about. We hear him moving things, albeit quietly, as he clears a space beside an easel. The music continues. There are knocks at the door The music continues, and the Artist ignores the knocking. There is another knock and a pause. The handle turns and there is the sound of someone slowly entering the room. The music continues to play.
Model	Am I in the right place? Peter Howth?
	The music continues to its end, during which time no-one moves. When it finishes, the Artist speaks.
Artist	Thank you. Janácek is not background music. (And then.) In fact, I do not believe any music is background music. When I go into a restaurant, for example, where there is music playing, I either listen to it or I ask for it to be switched off. Sometimes, they do as I ask. Usually I am treated as a pariah. A pariah. (And then.) Usually, of course, the music is on too softly to be heard, to be listened to, anyway. (And then.) Ridiculous. (A pause.) Don’t worry. I saw how you walked in. I was not sure, to be honest, whether you were being serious or ironic. But I like that, not being sure. (He has the habit of a lonely man: he speaks in order to hear his thoughts.) Bloody background music. I mean, what exactly is the point? (And then.) Can you feel your legs?
Model	Yes. I can feel my legs.
Artist	Can you feel exactly how they rest on that chair, how your weight is being distributed by your legs like that?
Model	Well, yes, I can feel my legs. I can sense my legs. That is.
Artist	And your back? Can you feel your back here and here?
Model	I can feel the weight of it.
Artist	And your neck?
Model	And my neck.
Artist	And can you place the angle of your head against the angles of the room?
Model	I can see exactly what I am looking at. Yes.
Artist	Professionalism. (And then.) I have never understood what that means. Did you enjoy the music?
Model	Didn’t understand it. I know it was a string thing. Very aristocratic. But I didn’t understand it.
Artist	So. Did you not like it?
Model	I don’t know whether I liked it.
Artist	Which means you didn’t like it.
Model	Maybe. (And then.) Does it?
Artist	It does. (And then.) Can I get you some coffee?
Model	No coffee, thanks.
Artist	(Immediately.) And actually, liking it has nothing to do with it at all. You don’t have to like Janácek. It’s not liking. I am known for my abstracts. For my colours. I am not liked for them. No- one writes about them with any intelligence. That would be too much to ask. Intelligence. Those who do write about me, well, they always focus on how much the stuff costs. Which is not entirely the point. Although, to be honest, my dear, I love spending the money. Usually in expensive restaurants with background music. I don’t know why I bother. Things will have to change. That’s why you’re here. Dear thimg. I am fed up with circles. Or whatever they are. That must be it. You are my new circle. Huh. That’s all you are my dear, today’s new circle. (And then.) Too much art today is just background art. Put it up and ignore it. Get the lighting just so. Choose some sultry music, and play it just too quiet. Then eat a meal while you talk about something else. That is how it is today: everything is background.
Model	Sounds lovely.
Artist	My arse. (And then.) No coffee?
Model	No thank you.
Artist	I think you knew what you were doing. I suspect you are already contributing. There was something illuminating. My dear thing. About the way you sat.
Model	You saw me?
	Sounds underscoring the following speech. now suggest movement in the studio. As the Artist prepares his paint from tubes, on to a large board he has beside the easel, and delivers the following speech, the Model prepares herself. This is all timed, so that she has just settled herself perfectly as the Artist looks up at the end of the following speech.
Artist	One thing which puzzles me. Well, there are, of course, many things which puzzle me. One of them, the one I am thinking about now, is that when we say figurative language we refer to the metaphoric, the poetic, the unreal; but when we refer to figurative art, we are referring to the literal, the actual, the real. The prosaic. My work, though no-one notices this, my work concentrates on this paradox. Not that I am ever in the Sunday supplements. This season’s artist, the one you’ll never hear about again. No. The paradox of figurative. (And then.) Of course, many things puzzle me. (He looks up.) You have taken your clothes off.
Model	Thought that was what models did.
Artist	Sometimes. Sometimes.
Model	That is what models do.
Artist	I do not know if I can paint you naked. (And then.) Odd thing, that. (There is a pause, and then he continues.) Another thing that puzzles me is that there is no such thing as pornographic radio. Why is that? Why is there no such thing as pornographic radio? My dear old thing. Why can’t we come in after one too many whiskies, late at night, with the street lights almost burning in our eyes and slump down in a favourite armchair. (And then.) Flick the radio on, and there it is. Channel Five. Late night porn. Radio porn. (There is a pause, and then he continues.) Of course, I have no idea what radio porn would actually sound like.
Model	May I ask a question?
Artist	Of course, of course. Dear thing.
Model	About the music.
Artist	About the music?
Model	If it’s not background music, well. I mean, what is it?
Artist	What is it, my dear? We know what it is.
Model	I mean, to put it another way. (She thinks.) What do you think about when you listen to it?
Artist	Think about.
Model	No-one ever taught me to listen to music.
Artist	Taught you?
Model	No-one.
Artist	I don’t know. (And then.) I don’t know. Janácek, well.
Model	Yanacheck?
Artist	The music we were listening to. Not very easy music. Not really figurative music: not really background music. No. Not an easy music. I could tell you about Mr Janácek, about his late love affair with some kind of secretary woman, which I can’t remember exactly, young though. And all the letters he wrote. Some think it was serious; some think it was all a fantasy in an old man’s mind. (And then.) Janácek’s mind.
Model	And is that what you think about? When you’re listening.
Artist	(Slowly.) I don’t know. (And then.) My dear. (After a brief pause.) You’re still comfortable, I trust?
Model	I am still comfortable. I can stay as long as you like. There’s no-one waiting at home for me.